Tears...

They were watching movie at home when she notices something that weren't meant for her to actually find out. She wished she hadn't noticed as well, but it was too late. She just pretend she have never seen what's that all about, turning her head over to the other direction. Still, she's hurting. Had she done something wrong lately, she would not know why she had to experience this once again. Now she knows, it wasn't about him getting the chance to work abroad.. It's about something else. Why he misses that foreign land... was not because of his family.... Why he never wished her goodnight when he was there... Why he had ignored her even when he's suppose to be free already.. Why she felt so alone all those time when he was there.. Everything came pouring.. Details by details.

Days later, she have forgotten what she had noticed that night. What she didn't know was that, all her guesses was right and she was suppose to be hearing the damn truth right at that moment. Looking at him, she asked "what's wrong?".  He answered, "nothing..". She looked at him with her loving eyes and again asked "what's wrong hun?". She knows what's the answer going to be, but she wanted him to tell her. Her heart breaks that instant after hearing him say "I met someone..". In her thoughts, "this might be my most successful lent season in my life". She knows, everytime she's hurting.. her whole body pleases her sadness. She have experienced it before. Well, that's not a joke...

"If one of us cheated, do not give any chances. Nor me or you. Just stop!" was what she remembered he'd say that time when they made it official between them. She's hurting badly now.. "How could he.." her thoughts linger at the question. "She reminds me of her..." was the last thing that she ever wanted to hear from him. "I am not her.." that's right. She have no place in this because she knows, all this time she's been living in her shadow. She can never compare herself to her... She knows that she will have to back off on this one else she will be kept hurting herself. 

Even so, it hurts her too much thinking about losing him. She has already lost him anyways. Why?? Why is she still hanging on to this madness?? She, herself couldn't understand. She will have to think of something in order to ease up the pain. Time will heal, but right now... this fresh wounds keep attacking her. She knows she's in pain, and he will never understand that. No one will. "I don't want to be here.." she said to herself. Tears kept on falling.. and her feelings's driving her mad. "Help me God..." prayers by prayers. "Please.. Help me...."

Trouble Skin & A Haircut

Hey there...

Today, I decided to get a haircut. I normally wear my hair long with curl down style. It's about time I got awfully bored with my long hair, that I actually decided to cut short. It wasn't an easy decision at all, mainly because I have long and thick hair that almost everyone desires to have and also because most saloons will normally fail me.. 

I have been observing Thomas & Guys Saloon in Sunway City for quite some times now. Going back everytime The Asshole wanted to get a haircut.

So today, was the day I put up an extreme decision and one of the most risky experiment in my life with my hair, with the saloon that I have never have any experience with at all. I guess, the hairstylist did a great job. You can see from the GIF there's not much damage. Will have to go back to do rebonding I guess. I didn't just cut my hair, I did colouring too. Will be updating a more clearer image soon. They also gave me treatment after colouring. How much I spend in this saloon.. ONLY 250MYR!!

Upon payment, we got gift vouchers as well. I said 'We' because The Asshole had his haircut too. Haha! I hope the colour stays... Very much hoping!!! One saloon have failed my request, I expect this one, will give me a happier result after I wash my hair, which is.. 2 days later upon advice.

As you can see, I am having trouble with my skin, causing me to have 2 faces now. One side clear, while the other having had a bunch of pimple attacks and scars. That's why I am in war with these mutha f*ckin' skin bacterial desease I'm on pills. The result was full, that most of my pimple dried away, except that scarring are at it's madness now. You can actually guessed why I had that hair cut, is to cover up my scars. Had to make sure that I don't put on make up in this GIF so that you can see how imperfect my skin is.

On accounts to this haircut and my trouble skin, we manage to get me a new hair wax & a new facial cleanser, which I will be making a review soon. So, STAY WITH ME BUDDIES!! I need your support...

Random Occasions..

Past most recent activities in my life besides rants on my blog..

Bisou Bake Shop

Here with Jessie, Helene & The Asshole (Chap Goh Mei)

Seoul Garden

Here with my colleagues (Farewell for another crime partner.. I'm just there for the food).

And This Pictures were taken & edited recently, armed with my favourite item from The Asshole..

When I....

When you talk to me...

When I see my friends...

When I see strangers...

When I read stupid articles...

When I jollied and bang the wall...

When I accidentally kicked the door...

When I heard stupid conversations/ jokes...

Practically, whatever happens in my life...

Seriously....

Just a joke that might make your day... Haha! Yes.. GIF is original.. I made it.. You're welcome to use it, but please do not remove watermark.

BIG ME!

Foo Fighters - Big Me

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When I talk about it,

It carries on,

Reasons only knew.

When I talk about it,

Aries or treasons all renew.

Big me to talk about it.

I could stand to prove.

If we can get around it,

I know that it's true.

Well I talked about it,

Carried on,

Reasons only knew,

But it's you I fell into.

Well I talked about it,

It carries on,

Reasons only knew.

When I talk about it,

Aries or treasons all renew.

Big me to talk about it.

I could stand to prove.

If we can get around it,

I know that it's true.

Well I talked about it,

Put it on.

Never was it true,

But it's you I fell into.

Well I talked about it,

Put it on.

Never was it true,

But it's you I fell into.

I fell into.

I fell into.

If You Don't Like Them.. Go Suicide..

Best Rock Performance – Walk, Foo Fighters

Best Rock Song – Walk, Foo Fighters

Best Rock Album - Waiting Light, Foo Fighters

Best Hard Rock/ Metal Performance - White Limo, Foo Fighters

Best Long Form Music Video- Back And Forth, Foo Fighters

YEP!! THEY WON 5 GRAMMIES!!!! Too Bad Adele Won 6..

And...

evanescense

is here in Malaysia!!!! 

Evanescence Live In Malaysia at KL Live, Jalan Sultan Ismail, KL on Thursday, 23^rd February at 8.30 pm. Is brought to you by JS Concert Productions.

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Grammy 2012

Voe's Charity Raffles

"In September 2012 I will be embarking on a 13 day treak through the Himalayas to raise money for charity.  

The Helen Bamber Foundation is an amazing charity who helps survivors of human rights violations (such as rape, sex trafficking and torture) to rebuild their lives.  For more information about The Helen Bamber Foundation, please visit their website {HERE}.

The aim of my trek is to raise £2,000 for The Helen Bamber Foundation and in order to achieve this, I need your help!! Therefore, I am hosting an online raffle, with some amazing prizes that have been kindly donated to me."

bbbbbbbbbbb

So, everyone.. Getting involved in this charity isn't such a bad thing. Voe's raising money to help survivors of human rights violations. Voe's also a blog buddy. Please, help her to at least spread the news.. Letting everyone know about this charity isn't going to kill you. Besides, you can win Giveaways... :) 

Click on to find out more:

Voe's Charity

If You Love Photography

Here's a good blog.. I found when I was browsing for inspiring images on WeHeartIt. Did I not mentioned over and over again that I love looking at pictures?? To those who doesn't know a thing about this weird interests of mine, yes.. I love looking at pictures. I will be mesmerized and will be in a very dreamy mode whenever I'm looking at images. Like the quote, "Pictures says a thousand words..".

And..

Check out his video..

I look through and through his portfolio,... I fell in love... You peepz ought to check out on him. His pictures, are very beautiful~!

She's Broken..

She came to a halt when she heard him saying, that he might have high chances to work abroad with the help of some relatives. No comments, not a single word came into her head. Her brain and heart paralyzes that instant. "That's good honey.. I would've done the same if I had the chances to.." is what came out from her mouth, knowing that all wasn't actually what she meant.

He went on to, changing the topics but she wasn't concentrating on any of it at the time. She was, broken. She was confuse, she don't know why. Later that evening, he went out with his friend.

.................

She was watching a movie. Her favourite movie, "The Perfect Getaway". The movie  is a thriller about two couples, one of which, were killers whom went through together killing newly weds, and impersonate the identity of their victim, while the other were lovers who've been through so much together until the kind of extend, almost died together too. She liked the movie so much. When she finished her movie, she thought she should go shower.

In the showers, out of nowhere, tears fell down. She said to herself, "not a relationship stays in this era anymore. So, why bother so much about it. Whatever the relationships everyone is in, they should know better, relationships come and go. I need someone who wants to share his dreams with me and I would share my dreams with him, not someone who decides what to do for himself without me". She should know better. Life wasn't always fair, life is not always nice. No matter how hard she try to tell herself that, over and over again, her tears still won't stop falling. "It would be much more easier if the situation's exactly how I settled with all the dumb f*cks in my life.. Too bad. I'm just another fragile soul.." she said. Hot steamy shower didn't help a bit. She felt so broken. She thinks about how is she going to put all the broken pieces back together again and in anytime soon. This is just another mess..

She came out of shower, taking her sweet time pampering herself and then went straight to her laptop. "Thank God, some people raise my rage at this time.." she said. By the time, she wasn't crying anymore. She was reading her mail.. What's worst, hate mails from unknown people. She enjoys reading it. She thinks that it's just so entertaining especially when people call her dumb and stupid. Her pride is too extreme for this one. She's laughing now... "Tell me who in this damn world, doesn't love sex? Whoever that is, why the f*ck is that person still alive?? Shouldn't this kind of being be in heaven already for being so pure... Even our ancestors, Adam and Eve sinned and damned here to suffer with us! Damn~" said to herself. 

.................

"Hey babe.." he said. "Hey honey.." she replied. She look at him with loving eyes... She knows, that.. with this guy, love has no boundaries. The sun is always shining around him. She knows for sure that a man needs to build up his career first in his life. Maybe, she should just let go....

From Taipei, With Love

Been awhile huh? Well, I'm back with another post!~

Well, well... What did I say about attracting fools to read my blog. Ahhh~ Maybe, ranting is really a good idea to get famous then. Thought, I was actually just bullsh*tting bout the whole. Too bad that's not where I'm aiming for anyway.. I'm gonna ignore what's hot posting on the comments.. Just that, I never said I hated virgins... (don't remember saying it.. nope.. and I am not going to elaborate what I meant before because, it's just a waste of time. Which means, I am expecting more hate comments from anonymous in this post) and I do have to admit that I am bad at talking, because sometimes, in the middle of all the overly informational world, I tend to get paralyzed by whatever the topic that's attacking me, that it actually felt like, there's no point in talking about it anyway. Unless you love me or I love you, then there might be a solution to whatever the problem is. I can just say, girls will never stop about whatever sh*ts that's cooking. Okay.. We're not going to go to that part of the story, ...etc.

A great day it is, remains a good day for me and I'm not gonna spoil that reading hate comments right? I saw loving comments after that. At least that keeps me up.. 

Alright~ this post is not about how much people hate me for the past and even if so, I can't convince everyone that my sorry a$$ actually earns the hate and that I am sorry if the whole situation hurts you that bad (well, at least you should be lucky that I'm not Tucker Max whom actually might bring his sorry a$$ even further into insulting because of pleasure IF he was me.. Come to think of it, I don't even think he gives a f*ck what others think and probably stuff like this is just a waste of time for him. Nope, I don't have the degree to be an a$$hole and I'm not up for that too). 

Owh~ Please don't.. You might have trouble defecate after that.

By the way... I have been alone for the past weekends and I was actually enjoying my solitude watching movies at home while The Asshole's out about travelling. 

One of which the travel plans that I should've attended, his sister's wedding. I couldn't make it to due to our financial state but at least, he made it and just look at how lovely his sister is on her wedding day..

The Asshole came back the other day, bringing the love from Taipei, Taiwan... I think, all you people should try and go travel to the Chinese lands because.. it's a good place. You can indulge in a very affordable and memorable times over there. For those who love shopping so much, TAIPEI, TAIWAN is your destination that you should be looking forward to!!! I myself have yet to set foot to Taiwan.. just yet. 

The products they sell are quite interesting and I might say.. not exactly as cheap as how you think it might be, but you can afford the item and it's worth it. Why?? Let me show you why I said that it's affordable & worth it.. Let's say.. Take this bag for an example..

It's cute right? Nope, it's not cheap.. My Victoria Secret bag (coming soon from  Choopnyc ) is way cheaper than this babe I got from The Asshole. I didn't expect a thing from the guy, I was hoping he'd enjoy everything for himself to the fullest with his family. Being a sweet bf he is.. Thank you hun..

The bag's got enough compartment like in every women's dream. Whatever you want to keep in this bag, I can tell you, it's big enough. SPACIOUS ENOUGH!~~

Then, a gift from his sister & family.. Thank you very much.. I love it so much. and I can feel the love.

And.. this.. my personal favourite.. From The Asshole as well..

Yep! It's pretty.. I told you he knows how to choose gifts.

I've been missing him when he's not around.. 

Okay! So, what have got into me these days... Work, work, work.. Yes, I put pleasures at work, just like how I put pleasure in bed. Hmmm~ Maybe not... Very different concept, but yes.. I put more effort these days at work. Then, concentrating on my diet. No, I'm not slimming down, but I cut down meat/ fry food consumptions very much due to my body being over heat and being on the pills have been helping me a lot these days. Practically, improving my life a lil' bit.. and my love for teas.. getting deeper too, I have no idea why. Probably, being how disturbed I am lately. Hopefully, I don't masturbate to teas too...

Anyways.. I hope you all enjoy reading this post as much as I VERY much enjoy writing it.. 

The Sound Of Sunshine

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& 

My Own

She Loves Her Family... She Loves Him..

He had kissed her and touched her lovingly when she was sleeping..

She opened her eyes to the sound of his voice talking to someone on the other line.. When he was done, she asked him "why didn't you sleep?". He answered, "I couldn't". He was awake the whole night. In a few hours time, he will be on his way to another strange land. She looked at him walking about the room and getting ready. When he was done, he asked her "would you like to go with me?". She could've said yes, but the answer in reality is pretty obvious. She would love to go everywhere around the world with him, and him only. She answered "No..". He then asked again, "why?". She replied, "because I don't have the ticket to be there with you, so I can't go..". Sounded like a child she is, but that is the fact. "Wanna come down and send me to the car?" he asked again. With that question, she knows it's going to be a very long weekend again this week and she hated the feeling sending him away. She answered, "No". He then again asked, "why?". "Because I always sent you away.." she answered. "I sent you too.." he said. She knows that is not true. She always end up waking up alone and going somewhere while he was either tired of working sleeping or he was too busy to be there. "Do you want me to come down with you?" she asked. "You can come along to the airport if you want to. My friend can send you back.." he answered. She again said, "no".

She felt lonely again right after he goes in the car. Walking back to their rented place, her phone vibrates to a message "I miss you already". Her tears falls down, she doesn't know why. She realised that, he is the only person at that time who can make her happy her whole life. She knows that very well. She loves him more than anyone else although, she do have friends that she loved so much too, but none of them can accept her for who she is, none of them can be there at the time when she needs them. She knows damn well he's the only person who understands her wholly from the first time they've met and fell in love. 

She replied "I miss you too..". Seconds later, another message came in and says "I love you Amanda.. I love you more than anyone else..". She knows that. Streams of tears falls as she replied "I always sent you away..". He then again said, "we will go somewhere together okay?". She knows that is true. It has been in the plan. 

Everytime, he goes away for work or some important event, she will feel lonely. He wants her to find more friends so that she will go out more than staying home. 

She dislike most of the people she met. She kept great distance to each and every one of them. Why?? In fear of losing. Whenever she gets close to someone, she knows in no time, she will lose them. Why?? For her, there's nothing to change about in someone unless a massive advantage will fall on if changes are to be made. Sometimes, it's just bad luck that made her lose people whom are close to her. She have pride. Worst than a man's pride. She thinks that people use each other that none of them realise they're being used. "It's normal.." what she said to herself.

She went through an abusive relationship once and from then on, she told herself that not a soul can take advantage of her anymore and that she will win whatever that she thinks is right to herself. That made her selfish. She never thinks of others feelings as long as she thinks it's the right thing. She could've made a different, but sometime, it's not her place to make the different. Sometimes, it's just bad luck that people will come cursing at her later. She never cared. She knows "what's the difference??". Whatever she has done, she won't look back. To her, the future matters and people who thinks that she meant harm in any ways, are bunch of losers who just wanted attentions because, she never meant any bad things to happen. It just happened to her and to people around her. She has a very selfish thinking in every way..

Looking back to all her previous life, they were all faked. She had loved people, but had also taken things for granted. Being in love with him now, is different from all her previous relationships.. He is different. She would cry missing him.. She felt home with him around. She would tell him everything or whatever she thinks.. He would tell her when she needs to tweak her mindsets but would never go against her. He will support her in every way. He had helped her to get up no matter what and she knows that she will do the same to him..

You can change your work attitude, you can change your lifestyle, you can change your environment, you can change your cycle of friends BUT you can never change who you are because that is what made you special... Is what she believe and thinks that everyone should have in themselves. Pride..

She is lonely, but the one person that made her world so colourful  after so long, is him. She is not good at showing how much she loved and cared for him. She is not good at apologizing when she have done something wrong to him, but he meant everything to her because she knows, no one else can tamed her like he did. He held strongest meaning in her life. She knows best from her experience that she have found the right person to be with. She is not a child anymore, and she does not think finding "The One" is easy and mummy and daddy can never settle her adulthood. It's up to her..  It's not her if she kept going to mummy and daddy complaining about life. Life was never nice to anyone. Everyone should know that. LIFE IS CRUEL and we are the ones who made it that way. She knows.. 

To her, the only thing in her life that is so beautiful, meaningful and can never change in her heart is her family and.. him. It's the fact/ reality no one ever realises from the start that their family is the one resort in life. She loves her family.. She loves him too in every way and that will never change.. 

And The Award Goes To....

♥●• İzdihër •●♥ My sweet blog buddy, have given me 2 awards,.. Thank you Sweetness! I have decided to make a special award for her too. Behold.....

This also goes to all my blog buddies Cloe Bowie's Blog, Reine Ackermann's Little Human Being Blog, Steve's Blog,... (*I'm getting tired of this... LOL!) and to all my dear bloggers. Remember, this award only goes to cool and awesome people. If you think you're cool and awesome, award yourself with this award! Everyone deserves the award... EVERYONE!!!

Just copy the html. in the box below and you will get your award!

Anyway, what I got from Izdiher is the Enchanted Blog Award;

And

Butterfly Blog Award;

The Butterfly Blog Award comes with 7 Random Facts About Me

y My pride is the size of the whole universe.. √

y I am an Aquarius too that's why Aries is one of my best debaters.. √

y  My site is a one stop station for pedophiles. √

y I write almost every wretched thing I do or think about in my life √

y My parents know that my hobby is insulting people. ×

y I wanna go USA.. ×

y I wanna move out from Malaysia because this place bores me already ×

Again, thank you.. ♥●• İzdihër •●♥ for your kind support.

I don't have much followers, so.. These awards goes to all my followers.

.

.

.

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Both awards and the blog award I've created!!

<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-poDi3R0HwQI/Tz0KJjqc1jI/AAAAAAAAFLs/gejbx9GrBWk/s1600/blog+buddy+award2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-poDi3R0HwQI/Tz0KJjqc1jI/AAAAAAAAFLs/gejbx9GrBWk/s400/blog+buddy+award2.jpg" width="400" /></a>

**Copy html to get awarded..

I hope you all like the awards...

Getting Famous??

Twitter

People's postings about their own interesting news or status updates in not more than 140 characters. The easiest way to know about the whole world's news and/ or what your friend is up to. You won't get famous here unless you manage to grab people's attention...

Blog

A place where you can be a creative writer of your own, managing every post either publicly or privately. A simple hobby and diary about anything. Anybody can be a writer having a blog. It depends on how you invite traffics to read your blog. You can never get readers unless you work on the invites or people just stumble upon your blog... No matter how well you write, it still depends on how you manage to invite people to read your blog.

Facebook

The most powerful social networking website. The best place to introduce/ commercialize a product and the best place to get famous. All you have to do, is create an account... Add every f*cking human being as friend, and tell the whole world that your cherry have yet to be popped.. Voila!! Everyone will come to you.

Photostreams/ Sharing Platforms (Tumblr/ WeHeartIt/ Flickr/ ...etc.)

Sharing photos and reblog-ing photos. If you're a photographer, this is the best way to get noticed...

She Rants Again..

I know most people, misinterpreted the usage of all these social platforms. By using all, won't do you any good in getting famous or get people to notice you (unless of course, if you're Paris Hilton or any other stars that had leaked out porn videos..). So, there's no use bragging about how famous you are and go on telling mummy and daddy that you're a rising star because you're a wh*re or a virgin.


Now, I found that this blog has gotten quite an attention due to my way of writing words that either insults the hell out of your thinking or nice stuff about the ladies (which was not entirely nice..). Since I created this blog, my rants was never noticed but the material girl side of me gotten most of the attention. The traffic was never good, it was always bad because most people who came by my blog, was due to their research about "Pedo Bears" or "Pedophile". Up until now, it still is..

Over time, trying my best to get traffic.. The result soon become more better as to more people found  out informations about interesting health care, places, blog features, or girls material from this blog. Soon, this blog attracts better traffics than pedophiles. My rants and ravings was always out of the popularity questions because not much of humans from my nearest cycle knows about this blog. I know, because no comments ever been planted once I start cursing.

One bad day, I woke up in the morning, only to found out that later, my parents had to apologize to strangers due to my unfriendly rants about people. That was when I know this blog, has gotten more attentions from unwanted entities (Yes! I give no f*ck about what you think when I'm writing..).. also, I might be getting famous about insulting people starting from.. NOW! Owh yeah!~

The problem is that, what's more shameful than to know that your parents have to apologize to strangers because of your rants in the blog? Moreover, those are people that my blog community doesn't know of (if you notice, they're mostly international bloggers..). I'd rather be ashame getting spits by strangers because of my insults rather than ashame of my own parents having to apologize to strangers because of my rants. To be more clear about this, I can see that indirectly, this is what they wanted to happen.. Me being an outcast in my own family.

I have to change the entire genre of the blog so that it would make some dumb people understand more about this blog. I am pretty and fairly creative in writing insults, but I know this event is not gonna stop that. That's why you see I'm actually writing less insults in this ranting post. Since the event occurs, I monitor this blog's traffic carefully;

Yes, I am very sure when I attract stalkers. I can smell them...! Now, that I know I have a permanent reader for my rants, I feel a lil' awesome. Well, at least someone reads my rants..

Here's the thing, I was suppose to do a major clean up for this blog. Removing my nearest social relationship tribute pages and ALL post regarding friends. An order stated by my parents.. BUT I'm not gonna do that, because OLD CONTENTS remains old. The dedication friendship page have been deactivated (for the time being until I can pull myself to delete the entire page..) too because, MAINLY because.. I am advice to treat friends lightly and not closely (which means I have to be as distance as I can..) because no humans who tried or I tried to be friends with survive the fatal effect of my attitude in the relationship (unless of course, they're guys because no girls ever survive before..). In addition to that, because I cannot risk my parents apologizing to strangers again in the future. It's too awkward when my parents tried to bring the issue about whomever I have relationships with..

My parents know that I'm not good at saying sorry, apparently. I guess none of my friends know that, even the closest one. Interestingly, The Asshole must've notice this already by his own experiences and by the current situation..

All in all, I would like to apologize to those who had gotten further in the war. No, I feel no remorse/ regret over what is written because this blog is not serious about rantings (the main course is always lifestyle and sarcasms..it's what people came here for..), but I feel bad that people have gotten hurt by the truth and I am ashame that my parents have to apologize on my behalf. 

I will not define anymore further about everything that is written in this blog, I just hope I don't attract more fools in the future. Again.. I am sorry to those who died reading because of me ignoring consequences of whatever I am writing..

Regardless of the whole event, IF anyone of you wants to be famous by blogging, try ranting sarcastically non-stop about everything~ :D Being an Asshole always works. Look at Tucker Max or The Oatmeal. The two most famous and richest bloggers in the world. If you can't stand the wait, then go on Facebook. Best way to start any f*cking sh*ts about anything since it's the most powerful social network engine in this era. Why I never cared much about Facebook, because I like writing sh*ts. So, blogging is my thing! I WRITE WHATEVER/ HOWEVER I LIKE! You can hate me or like me. Either way, that's not my problem...

I hope you enjoy reading this.. at least I know my stalker's gonna read the whole thing.. WELCOME TO MY F*CKED UP WORLD!!